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or_timelords ([personal profile] or_timelords) wrote2008-12-19 09:34 pm

This could prove to be interesting.

from [livejournal.com profile] laser_not_sonic

If you woke up one morning and found me in your bed, what's the first thing you'd think or say?

[identity profile] watch-is-me.livejournal.com 2008-12-30 03:54 am (UTC)(link)
The Doctor shows his other the surprisingly orderly room in which he keeps the spare TARDIS parts (a room that bears a strong resemblance, in its tidy organization, workbench along one wall, racks and cases of bits and bobs and tools arranged along the other walls, to the armory—though here the coral desktop theme still carries the decor). The fine tuner's in there, he tells his other, kicking at a trunk to one side of the room, and then heads on to the sick bay. The other Doctor shouldn't have any trouble finding the tuner in the trunk, and the Doctor in black wants to get away from his other quickly, give himself time to think.

There's not much equipment left in the sick bay; he's scavenged many of the diagnostic devices for his laboratories, particularly his master laboratory, now housed in the Zero Room.

What's left is enough to repair his injuries. Simple, clean breaks, no complicated fractures—twenty minutes with his hand in a nanite field (trying to hold still, and the medic program in the field generator bleating at him, telling him to stop fidgeting) and he can flex the fingers on his right hand again, with only the barest stiffness. Even that will pass within the hour.

Such a small injury. He shouldn't have snapped.

The other Doctor must have found the fine tuner, because he's not there when the Doctor returns to the spares room. He reaches back into a recess in the wall and fishes out a few light-array panels for the rondules. One of the easiest repairs on the TARDIS, really—plug-and-play, about as hard as replacing a lightbulb.

Another small injury. When did he get so snippy?

Back in the console room, his other's still nowhere to be seen, but the other TARDIS is still there, and so is that clear, familiar mental signature, his but not.

He fishes his sonic screwdriver out of his jacket pocket, throws the jacket onto the console and gets to work, unlocking the broken light-arrays, unsocketing them, and replacing them with the new.

By the time he finishes, he's back in a good mood, a level mood. He stands back and looks at the repaired rondules. Not a hitch. The TARDIS agrees, and notes that he should have applied some of that mechanical finesse to not applying Peeps to his other's TARDIS.

On her side already?

A twinge at the back of his mind, her exasperation at him, and he grins. Aw, she's on his side still, no matter what she says.

He flicks a glance at his other's TARDIS doors. He'd knock, but...maybe his other needs the time apart, too. So, instead, he shrugs back into his jacket, and lounges in the console chair, using the scanner to catch up on routine maintenance checks.

[identity profile] watch-is-me.livejournal.com 2008-12-30 06:28 am (UTC)(link)
"'Lo!" The Doctor in black grins from the seat and waves—with his right hand, a wave that involves wiggling his fingers ostentatiously. The stiffness worked out while he was repairing his TARDIS, and the bruising receded long ago. "Good as new." It's not clear whether he's referring to himself or the TARDIS or both.

He has his feet up on the console (the TARDIS never approves of this, but the only time she's really taken him to task was when he tried it right after visiting Skerpluck, a planet named for the sound made when travelers try to pull their feet back out of the muck that covers its entire surface) and his sonic screwdriver in one hand—he's finished up the maintenance routines and has been playing Viva Pinata on the scanner's XBox 360 emulator, using the screwdriver as a stand-in for a controller.

"You, too, hm?" The other Doctor's found his "right" clothes again, and now he looks like all of the other Tenth regenerations of himself this Doctor has ever met. The long coat with that dramatic flap when he runs, the suit tailored for the lanky frame of this regeneration, the tie that always stays tied... He's the Doctor. The Tenth all the way through, dressed to run forward into the future; the soldier he was during the War isn't there anymore, put away on a rack with clothing too dark for his new tastes.

"The fine tuner's alright, then? Found it in an antique store, would you believe it? Under a load of plaseramic bobble-head dogs, on Casb. 320th century." There were other parts compatible with TARDIS, too; the shopowners knew a salvager who'd found them out on a moon somewhere, thought they might be worth something. The Doctor tracked the salvager down, and had him take him to the site—one-third of a TARDIS console, defying physics, standing as though it were whole on the moon's surface. A craft fractured by the time lock, caught in and out of the War and proper time. He had touched it, and it had screamed silently and grasped for something in him, in his mind, the part that was his TARDIS, and then fallen back into the lock, disappearing into War time.

The salvager had yelled at the Doctor for losing him his find.

He'd thought better of it moments after.

[identity profile] watch-is-me.livejournal.com 2008-12-30 05:06 pm (UTC)(link)
The Doctor, actually, is currently managing a rather successful farm full of Mallowolves, Crowlas, and Kittyflosses (yes, he keeps cats on his pinata ranch, hush). But he saved the game and set the scanner back to its standard Gallifreyan display while his other told him about Jake.

"1874? Well, no harm he could do with a fine tuner. The best human minds for millennia couldn't reverse-engineer an artron-activated system. Wouldn't do them any good if they did."

He frowns at his other's comment on his lack of findings, though he's less surprised than he would have been several weeks ago. "Mm. I thought you might say that. I reckon it's the multiverse. I've got a few theories on the place, basic universal sentience, laws of improbability, but they're only theories, haven't developed instruments yet that hold calibration out there." He jerks a thumb at his TARDIS' doors. "Physicist's worst dream or best nightmare—'s like the back side of embroidery, a mess, colors and knots everywhere and you can't see the picture for the stitches."

"Speaking of," he swings his feet down from the console and pops up from the chair. "Ready to see the labs? We can run a closer scan there."

The time spent repairing his TARDIS and managing papier-mache virtual wildlife has put him back in a decent mood; the influence of the drums is slight, though if he bothers to think hard about what he's doing—admitting that something may be wrong with him; letting his other self into the secret, worrying, very personal world of his work; inviting his other and his violent TARDIS to stay, a constant reminder of the different choices they've made—they tick up, scratching at the back of his mind, a warning.

[identity profile] watch-is-me.livejournal.com 2008-12-30 09:13 pm (UTC)(link)
"Energy emission?" He throws a quizzical look back over his shoulder at his other, as they walk through the halls of the TARDIS—his TARDIS. It's been a busy past hour or so, and somewhere among waking up in bed with himself, sharing minds twice, and breaking...well, a lot, there was quite a bit of breaking, he'd almost forgotten about the intensity of that connection with his TARDIS—and its aftereffects.

Forgotten, or been trying not to think about it.

He runs a hand up the back of his neck, through his hair, looking away from his other. "Oh, yeah. Yeah, um, no. I didn't have any on me...Right, here we are."

They've arrived at the door to the Zero Room—replaced during the Time War. Romana had offered him a new TARDIS, the newest and best, top-of-the-line, a war model if he wanted, but he'd refused, accepting only basic repairs and refitting for his old girl—such as the replacement of rooms he'd had to jettison over the centuries.

He's isomorphically locked this room, too—some of the materials and machines inside could cause serious harm, if handled improperly, and he doesn't want any guests wandering in and hurting themselves—or throwing off any of his tests. The lock takes long moments to respond—longer than the instantaneous acknowledgment of his genetic/psychic signature it should provide. He's used to this—they're calibrated to his old "fingerprint," from after the War but before his reconstruction by the TARDIS, and no longer quite recognize him as himself—he's not yet bothered to recalibrate them because they still open and...it's just another thing he doesn't want to think about, enough so that he's stopped thinking about. Locked doors just open slowly, that's all.

"Mi laboratorio es su laboratorio," he says when the door finally slides back. "Adelante!"

Counters full of diagnostic equipment scrounged from the sick bay, purchased from various corners of time and space, or invented specifically for certain projects and purposes clutter the pinkish-gray room, with only narrow spaces separating them—not aisles proper, just spaces, and it looks like some of the tables can only be reached by vaulting over or slipping under others. Whatever organizational tendencies this Doctor has that his others don't do not extend to Science!—the priority here has been fitting in as much gear as he can, not in keeping it hospital-corners-neat.

Shelves of binders and notes held together with brads and tattered journals crawl up the walls, an old stepladder wedged in on one side used to gain access to their upper reaches. Everything handwritten in this room is in Gallifreyan, though print-outs and screen displays are in any number of languages.

[identity profile] watch-is-me.livejournal.com 2008-12-31 03:00 am (UTC)(link)
"Hm?" The Doctor looks up from right inside the door, where he's emptying out his pockets onto the surface of one long lab counter—or what surface there is, around the jumble of wires and electrodes and touchpads and readout screens surrounding the Fifth Atlantean reality-synchronization counter bolted to its center. "Oh, yes. They're not all on the...the uh, percussive phenomenon, those are under 'P.' And 'D.' Annnd there might be some under 'R.'"

The notes are indeed labeled with letters and relative dates, small (and in English, he does his filing in English, at least) on their sides. The other Doctor may notice that the 'T's are quite extensive, for 'TARDIS,' 'Telepathy,' and 'Time Vortex,' as are the 'R's for not just 'Rhythm,' but also 'Regeneration' and 'Rassilon Imprimature,' and the 'S's for 'Symbiote' and 'Symbiosis.'

And if the other goes too early in the 'D's, he'll find the notes on Daleks and their susceptibilities to chemical and physical weaponry. The interesting word 'astriform' gets some coverage under 'A,' and appears in a few of those symbiosis-related packets, as well.

The Doctor in black picks something out of the detritus of his pocket contents—a clear orb, the size of a shooter marble. He peers at it closely, and then grins. "Ha! Got you! Catch!"

He tosses the orb over to his other—a high arcing toss, easy to catch. If his other catches it, he'll see that it contains a few sparks of golden energy arcing out from its center, like a novelty plasma ball, full of captive lightning. If he doesn't catch it, it will...bounce off under the desks.

Regardless, the sample's not large enough for identification, despite the Doctor in black's hope that it is.

[identity profile] watch-is-me.livejournal.com 2008-12-31 04:29 am (UTC)(link)
"Oi. Well. Nothing like a second opinion, especially if it's your own." The Doctor bobs under one table, snakes down several passageways between desks and shelves and counters and snags of wire extruding from the backs of instruments and snaking across the floor; he moves through the tangle without watching his feet or stopping to consider his next move through the labyrinth—he knows this room backwards and forwards, inside out and upside-down.

In seconds, he's standing at the shelves by his other, scooping up the Mahler. "Huh. I haven't seen these since..." Since very shortly after his Tenth regeneration. He wasn't in the lightest of moods at the time. "...Years. Du mußt nicht die Nacht in dir verschränken, Mußt sie ins ew'ge Licht versenken." His expression clouds briefly—he's not done so well, with banishing the night inside of him. But he tucks the sheaf of sheet music under one arm, slips his glasses out of a pocket, jams them on, and looks at the first folder on the drums his other has pulled out. "Oh, right, this is early work, fairly crude, a stab in the dark, but it informs my later hypotheses. See, these are stimuli to perceived-volume sequences, I thought I could work out a relationship..."

Someone is avoiding the energy issue.

[identity profile] watch-is-me.livejournal.com 2008-12-31 07:57 pm (UTC)(link)
The Doctor runs a hand down his notes, thoughtfully. Even back at the very beginning of his studies, he'd known that there had to be a scientific explanation—there always was—and felt, every step of the way, that he was close. There were relationships, between volume and stimuli and mental activity, between time of onset and their gradual strengthening, that almost fit together. With two of them working on the problem, he and his other, the objective outsider but just as brilliant, the same background, the same quick mind, they'll have it solved in no time.

This is the problem he wants to work on.

He gives the ECaSS (Energy Collection and Sustainment Sphere) a glance, as his other holds it up to the light, fascinated. And he would be fascinated, too—he should be—because his other is right, the properties of the energy, as it curls in the orb, pooling against the inner surface where his other's fingers touch the outside, differ from artron energy. Except that energy came from him, and he's getting tired of discovering he doesn't know quite who he is, anymore. "Mm. Yeah, the spectrum shift's off, too, see those sparks? Bit too far to the violet, almost out of the visible entirely."

"It's not artron." He's seen energy like this, right after his reconstruction by the TARDIS—he radiated the stuff for days—he even tried to run tests on it. But his notes from that time period read as nonsense, when he fully recovered and looked over them again—ramblings and doodles and equations that involved colors and flowers and rubber ducks taken to the cauliflower-th power, written in Gallifreyan and English and High German and...hieroglyphics, ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics, for Rassilon's sake.

Not the best science. The TARDIS had been very worried, at the time; now she just remembers him bashing about his laboratories and waving sticks at beakers and drawing chalk diagrams on the walls to perform "alchemical chemical super-zoning-triangle analysis" with amusement.

"We really should figure out what that is, shouldn't we?" His tone of voice says 'I know we should, and I'm trying to convince myself.'

[identity profile] watch-is-me.livejournal.com 2009-01-01 07:45 am (UTC)(link)
The Doctor shelves the lab notes and sets the sheaf of sheet music back down on the counter. The drums will have to wait; he knows his own curiosity, and it seems to remain a constant across universes—his other won't let this go.

And why should he? The energy's new, something neither of them, it seems, has seen anywhere in their universes. It could be dangerous, it could be important.

The Doctor in black doesn't have the memories of John Smith, having never reclaimed the body of his version, but, if he did, he might recognize his feelings about the energy, recognize how similar they are to a human man's feelings about a fob watch, which, once opened, could erase his understanding of himself, of who he is—partially, entirely, he has no way of knowing.

He just wants to be the Doctor. Gallifreyan, whole, himself. What he's always been. Nothing else.

"Once. After my TARDIS...reconstructed me, I saw energy like that. It came off of my hair, my skin, when I breathed, when I spoke—and I talked streams, don't think half of what I said made sense, but no one was listening but me, so who's to say? Followed me everywhere I went—everywhere in the TARDIS. I didn't leave her—I don't think I could've." He waves down towards the 'R's and 'Regeneration.' "I took notes. You're welcome to them. The effect wore off before I came back to my right mind, so...well, they're a bit...oblique."

[identity profile] watch-is-me.livejournal.com 2009-01-01 07:05 pm (UTC)(link)
The Doctor registers his other's reaction to the notes with a slight smile—he went through those backwards and forwards himself in the weeks after his full recovery, hoping to find something that made sense, but all he got were a few unusual but quite tasty recipes, a handful of new knock-knock jokes, the discovery that you could write haiku using only the chemical symbols from the Yelvian Expanded Periodic Table (Plus Footnotes), and the general impression he'd been enjoying himself, which fit in with the scattered memories he retained.

"Try test number three hundred point pink. It's in very bad Latin. I think I was trying to summon a Patronus."

And despite his reluctance, he's already found his way to a modified general diagnostics table, which looks rather like a late 20th/early 21st-century doctor's table, except for the scanner panel floating full-length above it, the snake's nest of electrodes and psionic sensory samplers wired into the headrest, and the readout and instrument panels haloing it, angling up from its sides.

He taps in some basic settings, priming the table. "Mm, I'd rather you stayed out of the loop. One of us needs to stay the objective scientific observer, and I don't think either of us can do that if we're tangled up in each other's minds."

"Right," and he takes off his glasses, tosses them on a nearby table, throws his jacket over a lab stool stacked with bulky texts, and proceeds to strip off his jumper, "I reckon I can simulate the merge by lowering all mental defenses and entering a pre-forced-regenerative state. That sets up a time resonance—remember our Fourth-to-Fifth? The new regeneration will be on the cusp of existence, right outside of space-time, and the TARDIS will try to get through to him, it's instinct, make the bridge from me to him. That's a highly-charged moment, entirely potential energy, and the readings should be extremely strong."

He's applying electrodes to his chest and back as he talks, wincing now and again—some of the sensors also take blood readings, piercing tiny, sharp biometallurgic hooks down into his skin. But it's all routine, he's run tests like this many hundreds of times before—though never one quite this...precarious.

"If it looks like I'm going over into full regeneration, you know what to do. Psionic-electric shock, should break the connection, reestablish temporal-physical stability, the trigger's here." He indicates a keypad on one side of the table. "If that doesn't work, well..." He looks over at his other, with a very quiet smile and a shrug. "Take care of me, will you?"

Festooned with electrodes, he hoists himself up onto the table. "Ready?"

[identity profile] watch-is-me.livejournal.com 2009-01-02 03:04 am (UTC)(link)
The Doctor in black pulls one knee up and leans his arms on it, watching his other. Huh. He hadn't thought of that—that his other might not even know the risks attendant on what he wants to explore. That explains some of his eagerness.

"Well..." He runs a hand through his hair, expression ambiguous—embarrassment, earnestness, uncertainty, something a bit like fear, and a kind of tense eagerness—this is an experiment he's never before let himself consider running, one he couldn't run on his own, and now that he's actually thinking about it, he just wants to go with it, to see how far he can push it. It's like walking to the edge of a cliff—get too close, and the whole world opens up below your feet, and you just want to jump. "It doesn't just appear, I've gone...what is it, now, almost two years without a flicker. Judging by what happened in the wardrobe, it must be generated only while I'm in extraordinarily close...contact, I s'pose you could call it, with my TARDIS. I don't know if you could feel it, no reason you should have, but while she was making contact with you, I—I was her and she was me. Her in my mind, that's nothing new. I invite her in all the time, she helps. But loss of identity boundaries like that...that's very close to...there was a liminal state, when she'd—this is all theoretical, I've only got the barest memories, but I've got hers, too, and they corroborate this—she'd got the best part of me out of the watch but she had to..."

He plucks at one of the wires hooked into his chest, frustrated and uneasy—all of this is somehow, oddly, very personal. It feels almost wrong, indecent, to talk about it. "...I wasn't all in the right order. It took her years to put me right. And we're not sure she did, there're bits that stayed in the wrong one of us, and I reckon she did some patching, with her own memories of me, where she'd lost my own memories."

"So, rough analogy, she had to defrag the software before she reconstructed the hardware. And, while she did that, there weren't any divisions between us. The entire process involved her recreating the division."

"That's what it felt like, in the wardrobe. Faster, of course, moments, not years, but the same process. Subsumption and redivision. It's a new field, I haven't developed terminology."

He throws his other an apologetic, frustrated look—this is a long, convoluted explanation, and terribly imprecise, almost metaphysics, not science, and he's sorry for that. He wishes he had better words, knew more.

"If we want to recreate that scenario under laboratory conditions, I'm certain I need an external focus point for her to attempt contact with. I've run tests pushing our symbiote resonance up to levels far beyond any historically recorded—brain scans show activity indicative of the Rassilon Imprimature throughout the nervous system, beyond the symbiotic nuclei. But identity permeability increases with increased resonance. If I push it to the levels I think are necessary for energy emission, she'll...we'll merge again. I'm not certain what the effect would be."

"But, if she has an external focus, the merge, judging from what happened in the wardrobe, becomes a temporary state, it's controlled. Once contact with the external focus is made, the conditions the merge was triggered to achieve are met, and the redivision occurs spontaneously. It becomes an unstable peak, emitting energy and returning to ground state, instead of a...a stable jump, up from one energy level to another. Physical reaction instead of chemical. Conducting electricity instead of being burned by it."

"It's not clean." By this point in his monologue, his hair's standing out at all angles, he's run his hands through it so many times, and he's given up fidgeting with the electrodes and wires in favor of tapping his rhythm against his knee, unconsciously, as the picks his way through the imprecise mess of words. "The science is rubbish. I'm making the language up as I go."

[identity profile] watch-is-me.livejournal.com 2009-01-03 03:04 am (UTC)(link)
The Doctor shifts on the surface of the table, turning to face his other more squarely, letting the leg he's not leaning on hang over the side.

"I've run extensive tests on general healing and disease and poison resistance. I'm fit. I couldn't test regenerative capacities, of course, without initiating a crisis, but...you're here now! I needed a second, there's no one I'd trust more than myself. We can kill two birds with one stone. Stun. Stun two birds."

"Come on, of course it's a risk. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, where no Time Lord's gone before, all that." Despite the offhandedness of his words, he watches his other with a tentative, tense seriousness—he wants to be enabled, he wants to go out on this limb, now that he's allowed himself to consider it, to recklessly confront these questions he's been unable to answer—or ignored—for far too long.

[identity profile] watch-is-me.livejournal.com 2009-01-03 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
His other sees what the Doctor in black hides from himself—that this recklessness, the desire to initiate an experiment that could easily result in death or regeneration, comes from his wish to run. To run from himself into someone else, a new personality that might not have the drums or that might know how to make peace with them, a new personality that would be one more remove from his mistakes.

Like his other, he runs from himself without stopping to look at what he runs from, the inescapable hurts he never holds still long enough to think about, and so none of his running can ever help him. He doesn't look at the way, in his Tenth, he clings to the remnants of his Ninth, clothing and body language and the quick temper, the harshness that the drums approve of and that sits poorly with his current personality.

Regeneration has not helped and cannot help him, because the man inside the changed body has not changed.

The man inside refuses to change. He was broken and healed at wrong angles, and he must break again in order to heal properly.

He must face the pain of the rebreaking, at his own hands or the hands of another. A Doctor's hands.

But he doesn't think any of this, not consciously. He pulls the leg dangling over the edge of the table back up, rests his arms on his knees, and his chin on his arms, brows drawn down in frustration as he regards his other. He catches the expression and smooths it over, converting it into formal, flat neutrality, a mask for his disappointment and irritation. After all, what his other's saying does make sense.

"Fine. No, fine, you're right. I don't know what I was thinking." He twists back around and lies down on the table properly, stretching out his long legs and settling his head back into the tangle of sensors at the top of the table. They begin to attach themselves automatically, electrodes positioning themselves at his temples and along his hairline, sharp-ended bio-reads slithering down along the back of his neck, disappearing under his skin to lace themselves into his spinal column. He has other devices that can take similar readings less invasively, but the extra margin of accuracy these sensors allow outweighs the snags of pain.

"Preliminary readings coming through?" He could cue the machine to recite its findings to him, but with the other Doctor here, it's quicker if he just has him check the displays.

[identity profile] watch-is-me.livejournal.com 2009-01-03 04:53 pm (UTC)(link)
The Doctor notes the moment his other shifts his gaze to the EEG, the sudden intent fascination of his gaze, the way he leans in closer and pushes his glasses further up his nose as though to bring the readings into clearer focus (though they both know the glasses don't do anything—funny, isn't it, he thinks, that they still wear them, even alone or around each other). He remembers the first time he read the presence of his TARDIS as part of him, knit into the signature of his mind—marveling and disturbed by how well she fit, as though his brain structure had been missing an element before, a gap that had now been filled.

He'll have to point out his genetics notes to his other, later. In any given strand of his DNA, a fraction of the gene sequences are undetectable using even the most advanced medical instruments—he had to develop analogous devices that could sense and render fourth-and-higher-dimensional structures according to first-to-third dimensional principles before he could map the "missing" genes. The sections aren't new—nothing's been added to his genetic structure—it's only that a fraction of it (and which fraction can change at any time) no longer exists in standard physical space.

He has yet to work through all of the implications of that, including the fact that his RNA polymerase can read and transcribe hypodimensionally-encoded data.

But explaining that to his other can come later. Right now, the other Doctor's offering the mental contact that can initiate this experiment—the Doctor in black can feel the undisturbed quiet of his mind, as he lets his shields down.

He puts his hands out as his other leans over him, reaching up to touch his other's temples as his other's hands position themselves over his.

Before he can catch himself, he licks out into his other's mind, a brief but intimate intrusion, like tongue in a casual greeting kiss, tasting his other's silence.

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